Ladies, is marriage on the cards for you yet? You must have heard a tirade of comments from your near ones while you’re on the road to tying the knot. Marriage is a big step in one’s life, but in our desi society, it is taken as a step to conditioning yourself to total submission and lifestyle change after you’re married. Traditional South Asian or Pakistani households particularly view marriage as a means to domesticate their wives where possessive men equate it with depriving them of social independence. From nosy relatives, to dominant husbands and over bearing inlaws, desi women hear it all on a routine basis. Unsolicited advice and shaming also goes hand in hand. Here are few thing women get to hear after marriage.
But you don’t look married!
Well if they don’t see you in the traditional married woman attire, you don’t look married to them. Why haven’t you changed the way you dress? How do you still get time to do things even after being married? Just a few things women constantly get to hear every now and then.
How do you juggle home and career?
How are you juggling two lives together? Doesn’t that effect your married life? Isn’t that effecting your relationship dynamics? Why aren’t you staying at home taking care of your in-laws? Well, people, You’re still living in the stone age if you’re still asking these questions.
Can you even do the household chores?
Do you even know how to cook and clean? How is your family ok with you not doing these chores? As if whole household chores are your responsibility now under a divine decree.
When are you getting pregnant? You woke u so late? The pressure of giving them a male heir to continue their progeny.
Thora weight nahi put on kar liya shadi ke baad? Shadi ke baad ghaib he ho gayi ho! You might not be able to go out with us anymore. Right?
Make sure you keep your in-laws happy, beta. That’s the only way you can keep them in your hands and on your side. The responsibility of keeping everyone happy is such that either you make them happy or there will be consequences in case of non compliance. Is your husband ok with you doing this?